Through working on this project (Auditory Intimacy) in its various explorations, I’ve come to realize that it was important to adopt a practice of viewing and creating with the female gaze (Jill Soloway). This process is also important in formulating the question of my current practice <What does it mean to practice the female gaze as a cis male?>. With this approach, I feel that it is important to enable the current project to be viewed not as a mere object of entertainment but one that is relational. A key element would be shaping it to be durational, giving time for the spectator to see and feel the tactility of it. Hence, I envision that the eventual work would be in the format of an installation that could also function as a mise-en-scene, with a performative part to it.
The project questions the idea of in(fidelity) through deconstructing my personal experience of confronting gender performativity in relation to my mother’s fixation on fidelity and her exposure on the constant bombardment of East Asian cultural views of fidelity through melodrama. Situating the work in a surreal landscape, and influenced by Jean Baudrillard’s Simulation and Simulacra, I attempt to juxtapose the tangible materiality of the installation and body with the images that are proposed through soundscape and filmic iconography. In doing so, I hope it encourages the spectator to negotiate and confront these seemingly disparate perceptions.